It felt like a scene in a movie. Dark clouds appear on the horizon and then rush across the sky to cover the actor in darkness then rain begins to fall to ensure nature has made its point that you are nothing compared to it. Perhaps you should just lie down and never get up.
Except in real life it didn’t happen in under twenty seconds on screen but rather over the course of a few weeks. For me it started with the simple frustration of this blog being offline and me being able to do nothing about it. I was stuck waiting for someone else to do something so I could start to fix it. Then something else was wrong after that and again I was stuck waiting for a reply for a month.
Then it got worse as my wife was having a problem getting a previous client to pay up on an outstanding invoice. And this wasn’t a minor amount of money either it was close to 10% of her income for a year.
Finally to top it off someone hit our car in the parking lot and ran off without leaving a note. So now we had to get the car fixed and pay our insurance deductible of $700. It felt like everything was going wrong in our lives over the course of a few weeks.
It became hard to hope for a while. I felt powerless and worthless. And at times I doubted my decision to leave my job last fall. I felt like it was doomed to end in tears and I would eventually fail at this whole early retirement thing. It wasn’t like I was depressed but rather like I lost faith in that fact things would get better. I felt frustrated at the lack of progress what I thought were my big problems in life.
Then slowly things did get better. My wife finally got some progress on her outstanding invoice and eventually an agreement to pay it back in installments.
Then I had a friend look at my blog and offer a suggestion on what could be wrong. And I got an offer out of the blue from Tom Drake to also have a look at the blog and came to a similar conclusion on what the problem could be. So with that in hand I finally got my tech support to fix the issue and after even more issues being sorted out now I’m finally back online.
The car isn’t fixed yet but at least I feel I can face dealing with it now and the world isn’t so dark anymore. Perhaps most of all I can hope that things will get better.
You see early retirement doesn’t solve all your problems. You still have your bad days and things will go wrong (sometimes all together). Yet life goes on. Today isn’t forever but rather a moment in time. It’s hard to realize that when things are going wrong but in the end I’m back in the sun and feeling better about life.