Well after being in my Manager job for the last few months I came to an important realization: I really dislike being a manager. It’s not to say I hate everything about the job, because in fact I don’t mind some parts of it, but overall the entire thing is more trouble than it is worth in my mind. So the other day I killed my career in management.
How? Very easily in fact. First when a few positions came open that I would be perfect for, I didn’t apply. I honestly told everyone who asked they couldn’t pay me enough to do either job and I wasn’t interested. Then the final nail in the coffin was a brief sit down discussion with my Director (aka my boss’s boss) and explaining I’m looking forward to reverting back to my old job. That while I’m thankful for the ability to try out a manager job that after some self consideration I really just don’t like being a manager.
While the reasons why were a rather long list I summarized the problem in short form. I’m an introvert trying to function in a job that forces me to be way more extroverted than I like to be. I went home exhausted every day for the first six weeks from all the meetings, hand holding, discussing and assigning and following up on work. It has gotten slightly better since then as I got better at managing it, but it still sucked.
So I’m getting off this corporate ladder and refusing to climb anymore. I killed my career advancement and I’m happy about it. It feels good to know for sure that I would be a circle peg being forced into a square hole. I could do it but it would significantly uncomfortable.
Ironically too, when I had a brief performance discussion I was praised for my work in my manager role, when I personally felt I had done was keep the bus from going off the cliff. It’s not like I actually sucked at doing the work, I was fairly good. Yet the reality is I’m used to being bloody great at my previous job (no really my performance reviews even support that for the last few years), so for me it felt like a step down in performance.
I’m fairly certain my choice has pissed off a few people and more than likely a confused others around me. After all, I could make more money (ya like that really matters to me *insert eye roll here*). Yet in the end it is the right choice for me for sure and even likely for the company (like they really need another unhappy and ok performing manager). So have you ever killed your career advancement? What fallout happened to you?