Double Taboo: How Much Do You Spend on Sex?

Well this blog already deals with one common taboo: money.  We discuss a lot about money: spending it, saving it, investing it, how it makes you feel, why we spend it on some things rather than others.  So today let’s branch out a bit and double up on the taboo: how much money do you spend on sex in a month?

Now depending on your mind set you might consider that I just ask you if you use a prostitute and how often, which I suppose you could answer, but that really isn’t what I’m getting at.  I’m instead wondering how much money do people put towards getting sex since most people would agree that sex helps on the whole being happy in life.  Now obviously your costs will vary depending on your relationship status.

  1. Single.  This category likely takes the most money on average to get sex.  Dating isn’t cheap.  There is the nights out with dinner, perhaps a show or the bar.  Depending on how serious you are there can be the little gifts that show you are thoughtful.  Not to mention birth control like the pill or condoms.  All of that costs money and is related to how much much you spend on sex (either directly or indirectly).
  2. Serious.  I’m including engaged folks and those that move in together (but are under their first year living together) in this category.  Your spending on sex now may actually reduce a bit at this point, after all if you share a place you can now share costs which should hopefully offset on your date nights.  Not to mention that having sex is just easier since there is less logistics involved in the whole: your place or mine debate.  If you go the marriage route let’s face the fact buying a engagement ring is rather like buying a long term bond: you hoping for some long term payout of sex and affection for a large lump sum of cash.
  3. Early Marriage or Common Law:  In your early years of the steady portion of your relationship your costs will dramatically differ depending on if you get married or stay common law.  Marriage is an expensive thing to do for trying to secure sex.  The wedding itself is expensive, but it is offset by some gifts and the honeymoon is likely the most expensive thing you will spend on sex in your entire life.  Then given the divorce rate and the costs associated with not getting sex you have to consider marriage a speculative investment on sex at best.  Meanwhile if you go the common law route life can be much easier and less costly on sex.  Yet of course our decision to get married or not has nothing to do with logic, but rather emotion so people will keep getting married despite the poor investment it is for a lot of people.
  4. Longer Term Marriage or Common Law:  Now let’s put in those people that have been together for seven years or longer here (where you chance of splitting up drops off).  At this point your spending on sex might be almost non existent especially if you have small children.  Just the logistics of having sex is hard to do with working around kid’s bedtimes, your libido and the rest of your life can be hard.  If you don’t have kids then things could be easier having sex, but likely your direct seduction costs are low compared to when you were single.  So on a purely financial front getting to a long term relationship and staying in one can be potentially be a good cost saving strategy on sex.  So if your dating a personal finance geek that might be an interesting way to proposing getting more serious: “Honey, let’s reduce our costs on sex and move in together?”

How much do I spend on sex each month?  To be honest I don’t have a clue.  I’ve never figured it out and I likely won’t in the future.  Yet I’m firmly in category four with nine years of marriage. Yet I can say I think I should be spending more on sex than I do now.  Dates are an important thing to do (from a sex and relationship point of view) and I’ve been guilty of not doing enough of them lately.  So perhaps I do need a new line item on my budget: “date night” or perhaps just “sex.”  At least I know I’ll be having an interesting discussion with my wife after this post.

**Just to be absolutely clear this post was written with a strong humour element, so don’t take everything I wrote literally**

12 thoughts on “Double Taboo: How Much Do You Spend on Sex?”

  1. I don’t know, you left out the cost of buying that place in which to have the sex. And in a longer term marriage, you may have upgraded and had to pay even more for that place to have sex.

    In the U.S. it is a bit more expensive to get married to get the sex, as a marriage penalty is built into the tax system. But it gets MUCH cheaper after you are done with all the sex (when you die) because you get a huge tax savings in the estate tax if you were married–therefore getting a bit of a refund on that cost of sex. Of course, it’s kind of too late.

  2. Guinness,

    Oh, you are so right. We couldn’t possibly work on a normal sex life without drugs. We use them for everything else. *grin*


    I suppose the size of place you buy should reflect your sex life. The more sq feet the more places you have to try out right? Why limit sex to a bedroom when you have three or more to try out? *grin*

    Good point on tax laws. In Canada you also get somewhat screwed over once you are married.


  3. Funny post.

    You could also see the size of your place relative to your sex life in the opposite sense. The larger the place, the less you may see your spouse. The smaller the place, the more you see them. How this translate to sexual frequency may vary.

    On a side note, in regards to the First Time Home Buyers Grant. I purchased my house in 2004 on my own. My current girlfriend and I have been discussing marriage etc. My question is, should we purchase a second place now prior to marriage and take advantage of her FTHB Grant? I imagine as soon as we get married, it would cease to exist for her since I already used mine?


  4. Another way to look at the size of the location for sex: If one has a great deal of sex, one might need a large place to house all the results of the sex. Alternatively, if one has a great deal of sex with many people, one might have a very small place due to the long tern (child support) costs of all that sex. Therefore, one might say that spending more on birthcontrol makes for a good way of insuring against unexpected costs of sex.

  5. @ Adam,

    The answer depends on which country you are referring to, your wording seems to indicate the US program, while this is a primarily Canadian blog. So I’ll take a stab at the Canadian answer: as long as it has been four years since you bought your previous house you can likely qualify for a second First-Time Home Buyer’s Credit even if you are married. See here for the details. Or if you are referring to the Home Buyer’s Plan where you take money out of your RRSP that is a bit different. Read here. Hope that helps.

  6. Thanks CD, I am Canadian actually (Vancouver) – I need to watch what I say as to not be mistaken for an Amerikuhn!

    Yes I mean First Time Home Buyers Credit.

    I will take a look at the link you provided 🙂 Thanks!

  7. Follow up:

    This is what I thought, the loophole I am going after here is that we are not married nor considered common-law yet. At this point she is seen as another entity to the gov’t. I still live in my home, and she would be moving in with me after we get married. This would disqualify us as “I” have lived in my home for the 4 years preceding. If she was to buy a place, like a rental, before we get married she would qualify for the credit.

    Not sure if I am clear…

    An individual will qualify for the HBTC if:

    * they acquire a qualifying home; and
    * neither the individual nor the individual’s spouse or common-law partner owned and lived in another home in the year of purchase or any of the four preceding years.

  8. just one thing: hahahaha this post is so cool! I just turned in cat 4 🙂 and we’re getting married in about 18 months and have 2 young kids 🙂

    There’s ways to get a marriage for 5000$ and less (I discuss this on my blog by the way ;-)) But I agree most friends of mine spent on average 20 000$ on marriage… a lot money to speculate on sex!!!

  9. Fun Post!!

    Though for those of us in the LONG married category (I’m 39-married 17 years) you did forget a substantial expense….vacation sex!! The king-sized slice of heaven that can be found in a room at the Bellagio doesn’t come cheap but is an excellent (ahem) ‘investment’ in your marriage nonetheless!!


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